It seems I have spent my life falling in love. More like falling on my face. I don’t think I was ever in love with the real person just an allusion of who I thought I saw or how I wanted them to be…..
I find myself attracted to the strong complicated types.
People who feel toooo much, nothing at all…..or really angry…..growling and controlling….that’s also me..if I don’t own my own anger …for that matter all my feelings I am up shits creek…for reelz.
In relationship, I put on my tool belt…and attempt to tweek boyfriends here or there. Doesn’t work! Step the back off!! I can’t change or fix anyone. Me I can change..
A friend reminded me at Jarvis Beach,
“If you fall land on your feet…if you can’t land on your feet laugh before you land on your face.” Thanks Kathy.
Lately, I have been way to serious about the choices I’ve made. Taking alot of anger out on myself.
“Fuck you Eve. You are a monster nobody loves you!!!”-Brutal self-talk.
This morning at the end Jarvis pier, I was looking for a sign and message from my higher power. It came in the form of a wave that washed over me. I laughed out loud. Thank you G-d for helping me not to take myself so seriously.