Getting Close/ F###ing Hard


Don’t know how to get close….I confuse sex with closeness….I feel close to someone and I want to have sex…the wanting to have sex  can result in lot of fear and the possibility of leaving my body…..God damnit …this is tough..I don’t know what is real….the feelings I am feeling right now are uncomfortable and painful….I realize this is happening all within me..I created the situation and the confusion and pain…I am fucking myself over right now. Kindness. You need some kindness and gentleness.

But you need to be kind to you. You teach people how to care and respect you.

I have been here again and again..I am tired of it…you will go through it again until you learn…..Learn what..

That you are already Loved….

You don’t have to do anything to be worthy..deserve it… try so hard….your heart has been opened up…you can’t hide anymore.So please be loving to yourself right now….I am rooting for you and believe in you. No matter what I have your back..your front ……however else you need me …

That’s good to know. I need you right now..I feel  ..I don’t what I feel….stay with this…

I am a sexual being…..yes I know…

Something is in my guts that wants to come is coming keep writing…








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