From the Tap Dance Gym Show…. “Fire Boom Boom Boom.” I learned I had some moves.
I knew all the words and dances to Grease, the Original. My twin and baby-sister and I would act Grease out everyday..seemed like anyway for weeks..month…not years…ok maybe years….Grease and Saturday Night Fever…..Travalta…what a hottie.
I so wanted to be seen. I wanted to be seen for myself not just as one of the twins.
I wanted people to like me. Performing was my way of getting attention.
Chicago Children’s Choir, gymnastics, summer stock theater, At ten I remember asking everyone at the JCC summer camp “Are you coming to my play.” People had to say yes… some did and some didn’t I took it personally when another ten year old had no interest in Shakespeare.
Funny thing though before I would perform I felt petrified.
Throwing up before a concert— it was at Ravina with the Joffery Ballet. Come on people…
I performed and years later, the Artistic Director of The Joffery Ballet remembered me because I was the kid who threw up.
Mom was there.
Mom was there for my gymnastics meets. Mom was there when I was so nervous before competing and afterwards needing to take a day off of school to recover.
I was a brave girl..but also I got scared…..
Still scared of the dark….of riding a bike… falling in love…yes really…
But I did things not everyone could do….performing for five hundred set of twins at the Twin Day Festival and spoke in front of millions as a Twin expert. Chaired MidSomerfest and was President of a nonprofit arts board
I have had a life…my own way…
Maybe I am still figuring out the real me….
I seem to base my sense of self on other peoples’ perceptions of me.
Its not really working for me anymore…..