Ed and Eve

14481881_10153951775542023_3426932919165828489_oDearest Eve,

Why do you feel like everybody hates  you today. My dear one you are totally projecting your anger on everybody else. Please stop it. People are on your side. You aren’t a pain in the ass or draining..you are just being you..a little on the needy side. Fuck off!

You want to bite people’s heads off stay with that. You don’t have to pretend to be nice. Just be yourself. Yourself is just fine. Just acknowledge the rage you are feeling with that Dragon. The Dragon is your fuel…He keeps you safe. He keeps people away from me..feeling like I push people away..you push people away when you project what you want to disown about yourself..I am not a mean bitch but part of you is. Part of you would have liked your brother in law would have called you back owning that expectation  Yes.

Keep going baby. I feel like my life is passing me by..in the basement. A metaphor for being stuck. You must get Eve out of the basement. I want more then just getting out of the basement. I want a one-bedoom or studio apartment in a social building by the lake.

I want a friend not to tell people about me living in a basement or lack of money when I wasn’t getting paid made me feel less than. I don’t need everyone to know things I feel shame about. Not cool.

I am writing leave me the fuck alone. Eve who are you talking to?

You Eddie…no Not you I want to talk with you. Thanks for coming by. …..Stay with me Eve. Feel..Don’t be afraid to show me your inner BITCH. Fuck off you mother fucker. Those are just cuss words. I want to know how your heart really feels. I don’t really know how I feel…there is an edge of anger….

What are you feeling?  Stay with the feeling….

I am used to running from my feelings especially if it is rage, anger combo…

What am I afraid of?

Stop running away my dear. You are good at that how would it be to just stay in one place…today…you don’t have to be any place

You can be safe to feel..to run..do whaytever you want. I prefer you stay and be with me. Don’t leave the little one inside of you alone with the rageful one. She is the same!!!!

Spend sometime with that young one today. Ask her what she needs….

What do you need precious girl?

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