My heart hurts. Want to sit with this feeling. Not want to really name or fix or anaylze it. Just hold this feeling be mothering and loving and not turn away because this is fucking painful.
Part of me want to run far away into the doing of things, distract myself..paint a pretty picture. But I can’t anymore… paint pretty pictures when I don’t feel pretty.
Feel like I am lying on the floor covered in my tears and dirt..my water from my life spilling over and everyone can see ….please don’t judge me or hate.. I know I am weak..I have made mistakes but I am still deserving of love and attention. At least my fucking attention.