Mom’s Last Day

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Mom’s Last Day.

It started out as a crisp bright unseasonable warm day in February 2011.Mom enjoyed the day by going outside in her motorized wheelchair. I wasn’t with her until the evening. I had planned to stay the night. Mom was weaker. I sensed during that week that she was energetically going in and out of her body. She was practicing to go…..she was ready to leave her body. The last evening she was misspelling wotds on her ipad and and her fingers tips had  turned blue. Those are signs of taking in less oxygen.

That evening I gave mom her evening meal in her IV drip. Mom was taking in liguid food through a feeding tube. There was some confusion about her medicaton. It was given too close to her food and mom began  to asphyxiate. My step-father and I tried to get the liguid out of mom’s throat with a suction tube. We couldn’t remove the liquid. Mom was choking. I called the Hospice nurse. Bless her. She told me to give mom morphin. The Hospice nurse came over and gave mom more morphine and an oxygen mask.  At the time the  nurse arrived. My Step- father realized what was going on. He couldn’t cope and screamed/cried and went into his bedroom for the night. Mom was his rock.

The nurse and I were with Mom as she lay in bed in the living room. Nurse warned this could be a catastrophic event. Mom could be dying.  I stayed with Mom through the night. Around 3am, I was lying on the carpet next to Mom’s bed. I remember Mom looking out the window at something/someone. She reached out her hand as if to hold someone’s hand. In my mind ‘s eye, I saw Mom take her Grandmother Annabelle’s hand and then Mom’s hand dropped and she let go of her body.

In the morning, my Step-Father came out of his room. . He was an emotional mess. I comforted him. I made the phone calls to the hospice nurse who lovingly took care of Mom’s body (same one who came the night before). My sisters and their husbands  and children came over.  We held each other. I called my Uncle Jack. My Father happened to be in town. My father held me.

I wish I had called my sisters so that they could have been there through the night with Mom I know it was Mom’s time to go. I know I was there for her and Mom knew that. I Love you Mommaseita. Thank you for my Life and your Love.

Never wrote about this before. Feels good. I feel released.

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