Questions from I Got This!

Some questions asked in I Got This!:
What does Love feel like to you?
What do you really want?
What are you afraid of?
What behavior do you need to face?
How do you show up for yourself?
Who else has you back?
What is your truth?
What gets you out of your comfort zone?
What are you open to receiving?
What are the keys to your life?
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Love?

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Love is in the bright eyes of a little one riding on  dad’s shoulders at a protest on a sunny day in Grant Park.

Love is in the  mother holding her child close after a long night of Croup.

Love is in the joy of a puppy who learns about snow for the first time.

Nothing to get in the way.

Real. Moments.

For me it is the moment I feel myself stand up..not scared…on both my feet with the keys to my own damn life…that is Love too.

I Got This!

15781770_10154202563747023_2519045093167849716_nI got this. Thirty  years ago I freaked out about being separated from my twin. She decided to go to a different college in another state. It was rough when I was eighteen. Wasn’t sure if I could make it..literally wasn’t sure if I could survive without her. My twin and I took care of each other growing up..since conception.

After thirty  years it sunk it that I got this…this living on my own…showing up for myself. You have to be tough to live on your own.

We single people are bad asses.

In relationship time and again I have wanted to be taken care of and look to someone else to help me make decisions. Thats what I am used to. But my relationships have led to heartache. I have learned  that I don’t have to keep doing the same thing.

I remember that my name is Eve. My soul and spirit have been here many times before. I like to think I have been around  before the Earth was created. I do know a few things.

I am working, playing and  being in my life one day at a time.

Day Off

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Day off today…Thank ya Betsy. I think that is an expression. Well I am using it.

I am tired…from the holiday and year. Not always peaches and cream being with family. I love them..but oh well. Sometimes I can be hypersensitive when I am with them. I didn’t relax. I own that. Missed Mom alot. She helped make the holidays special. I tried to have some healing talks with my dad. It seemed to backfire. My intention was only loving. Love you Dad.<3

Haven’t had a real break since last January. Working hard. Mostly mental and emotional work but that kind of work can beat you up if you allow it. I am a big fan of lavender mineral baths and sleeping all day..which I pretty much did all yesterday. Could have continued to be under the covers today.

There was alot of loss this year and just letting go of lotssssss. Breathe.

Today is my day off. Rest Eve…..Evela, my dear heart.

 

Through the Dark

15622714_10154181224332023_1611225967798405684_nThrough the dark we find the light. 2016 I explored more of my dark side. Owned up to it. Not totally liking it, but accepting myself more. That part of me more that isn’t “nice”.

I would say I can be nice but I can also be a meany..nasty….still there is the light leading me into the dark places. Just want to allow and give up acting out when I don’t get what I think I want. The seven year old in me likes to play in the mudd and she doesn’t care who sees her…..

Both….all ok

I am both. Sometimes I feel gray and unlovable..sad….Eve look in the gray there is beauty there… sunlight.

I get caught in the story that I am unwanted. I can manifest this story quickly, easily and painfully.

Sure I don’t have a family ……but I have a family and I have great friends..who sing Christmas Carols with me and feed me popcorn and Sting documentaries.

Just going to be myself.